Friday, May 23, 2008

Woops, I've bolloxed it.

I have done something very wrong. I don't know what I've done wrong but I'm writing this in the library. About 2 minutes before the United of Manchester's triumphant victory over the liars, cheats and acrobats of Chelsea the other evening, my laptop gave a sigh and passed out. I think it may have been the excitement. I've not been able to rouse it since. All the correct blue lights come on but its pupils are fully fixed and dilated and there are no other signs of respiration.

I think it may have been a virus. About 3 weeks ago I was flooded with some trojans that came in on the back of a spurious activex control masquerading as something quite legitimate. AVG picked 4 up immediately and killed them to death but I think one may have escaped and done nasty things to the laptop's innards. As soon as I can afford it I will have the machine eviscerated and the hard disk swept but for the time being I'm stuffed. Please somebody go and shoot Bill Gates and do the world a favour. If anyone thinks I'm important enough to send emails to you'd better do it via my yahoo account which is at (standard email address disguising conventions apply):

operator073 at

The next person who justifies virus writers by saying they're doing everyone a service by getting companies to tighten up security, just ask yourself the following question and then go and play on the West Coast Mainline: just who is the threat?

See you soon.

6 Vegetable peelings:

Blogger Dave said...

Hope this virus won't affect your ability to play virtual cricket.

6:19 am  
Blogger The Birdwatcher said...

They may have a long wait for a train on the West Coast line. Bad luck about the virus, the authors of which should be eviserated with a small blunt pocket penknife.

10:09 am  
Blogger Richard said...

Dave, I'll be there

BW, I'll get them somehow.

12:41 pm  
Blogger Phil said...

Bad luck our kid. However, in my experience, the cnuts who spawn these viruses have such infantile superinflated egos that they just HAVE to announce that they've got you just as it takes hold. It seems more likely that your hard drive has died. They do that, quite suddenly sometimes with little or no prior warning. Surely it's not long out of warrenty - take it back and jump up and down loudly - you never know......

11:16 pm  
Blogger tom909 said...

Yes, I agree with Phil, except it's probably your motherboard. Mine passed away last week too, after the huge thunderstorm. It was instant death when it happened.
Got myself a super-duper mega fast new machine now - quite cheap too, before you go spending vast amounts on sorting out your laptop.
Good Luck with it anyway.

8:38 am  
Blogger zoe said...

I forgot to say - I did go through Crewe on the way to and from Liverpewl. Q is making his way back today but apparently trains don't run on bank holidays (what a weird country you live in) so he had to leave at 8.30am and get on a bus.

A bus! How very 19th century.

12:44 pm  

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