Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Cheese shop

I love the Co-Op but this morning it has annoyed me immensely. Not half an hour ago I saw some smoked cheese in there with a reduced label on. Lovely. We both like smoked cheese and this was very cheap. It lasts for ages, too. This is presumably on account of it a) being cheese and really, it's already off isn't it. And b) it's smoked, which in my book, apart from making the cheese taste rather nice, is another way of preserving it.

"Can't sell you that, love".

"Why not?"

"It's a day over. If we got caught."

"But it's cheese. By its very nature, it's already gone bad. It is off milk riddled with smelly bacteria to the point of being rancid and then it's left in a shed for several months, occasionally being prodded by men in coats before someone lights a bonfire underneath it. What difference is a day in vacuum wrapping in a fridge going to make? I'll take the risk. You should see that stilton I bought in West St a couple of months ago. Lovely sauce."

"I know, love. It annoys us, too."

"So it's going to be thrown away. What if if I, you know, like er...stole it? Surely I can't be done for nicking something you were going to chuck out?. That would be a right old irony, wouldn't it; you'd prosecute me for thieving something that you would have got done for should you have sold it. I'd like to hear that summing up."

"Er...ha ha..."

6 Vegetable peelings:

Anonymous Zoe said...

But....but....did you nick it? I'm not going to look in the fridge until I know.

1:50 pm  
Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

1) reduced label - can't they afford a fullsized one.
2) You found my stilton! I threw it out of the flat above 84 West Street in 1970, when I thought it had turned into Donald Duck. Good acid, man.

2:24 pm  
Blogger Richard said...

You've remembered the address at last. Was that a flashback?

2:41 pm  
Anonymous Clarious Miss said...

Maybe she could just toss it out and you could retrieve it from the bin out back!

6:17 pm  
Blogger GIDEON MACK said...

M&S rubbish is great stuff - if you steal it from their bins and find you don't like it they'll give you a full refund.

2:29 pm  
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2:19 am  

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