Wednesday, March 08, 2006

I went to the foot of our stairs

Goodness. Earlier today, while wasting valuable time, I had a message from a certain Mr Scurra pointing out an irregularity in my matrimonial arrangements. He suggested that were I to "make an honest woman" of his 5th cousin once removed then we would be related. Hmmm...I went, making sure of the correct length of the ellipsis.

It isn't widely known, but I am available although I'm not sure whether I would be considered a "catch" in either matrimonial or conjugal terms. I do have something of an ongoing arrangement with Sharon, the woman who rents this property, but as I'm sure you'll appreciate, everyone has their price and I am a bit borassic at the moment. I presumed that maybe Mr Scurra was having difficulty gaining entry into the country for one of his distant relatives and that this arrangement would provide some kind of guarantee of security.

I went to inform Sharon that I would possibly be away for a couple of days as I had some things to discuss with a Mr Scurra. She floored me, "Not Vicus, surely? Lives in Basingstoke or somewhere. Keeps on at me saying he's my fifth cousin once removed or something. In fact I owe him an email as he usually shuts up for a bit after I send one. Thanks for reminding me. Worse thing is," she went on "he probably is related. We've got loads of Christmas cards left so no need to make an effort."

The penny slowly dropped and with it my dreams of short term financial relief. I will never be so presumptuous in the future.

Later on, I discovered what is possibly the best website anywhere in the world here and amused myself for several minutes.

3 Vegetable peelings:

Blogger Tennessee Jed said...

Richard I love coming here and getting to learn interesting cockney expressions. Borassic is a new one for me it is actually an old one I just didn't have the proper english-english for it.

10:35 am  
Blogger Richard Seamon said...

Borassic = Borassic Lint. Borassic Lint = Skint. Which is where it sinks mid-Atlantic. Skint = not very well off financially.

10:51 am  
Blogger Sharon J said...

I said nothing of the sort! And Jed... he isn't a real cockney y'know. He's not to be trusted.

2:45 am  

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