Monday, March 06, 2006

Ten more things

The success of the previous feature a few days ago has prompted further scurrying, viz:

The static electrical field generated by Dyson vacuum cleaner motors has been proven to increase the generation of pheremones in teenagers. Young adults who vacuum before going out will be statistically more likely to attract the partner of their choice.

In 1991, faced with the knowledge that their oil stocks were already dwindling, Anglo-Dutch oil major Royal Dutch Shell secretly proposed the invasion of Belgium in order to turn the country over to bio-fuel production.

Posing as a US government employee, Apple founder Steve Jobs once “sold” the planet Mars to Microsoft for $27.5bn as an April Fool’s jape. The ruse went undiscovered for 3 months until internal auditors bought in new software.

All the cases investigated by Chief Inspector Barnaby in the UK’s popular Midsummer Murders are based on still open files from the Thames Valley Police force.

Shine an ultra-violet light on “yellow snow” at night and depending on the source, it will cause a small explosion. Cat and fox snow is safe, badger and dog can cause small but spectacularly colourful displays.

In the event of nuclear or chemical attack, two square miles of Milton Keynes city centre can be lowered underground out of harm’s way to form an emergency seat of government.

The west country’s favourite pie treat and gift to the world was actually the invention of Napoleonic army chef Bernard de Pasêtre, captured at Waterloo and exiled to Zennor in 1816. M. de Pasêtre’s crusty delight, already a staple of the enemy troops, became popular among his hosts who quickly named it a Pasêtre pie. Within a few years this became corrupted to the more familiar “pasty”.

During Lent, it is illegal to bray like a donkey in Kings Lynn unless holding a copy of either the King James Bible or the Book of Common Prayer.

“That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind” said astronaut Neil Armstrong as he stepped onto the lunar surface for the first time in 1969. Except he didn’t; the speech was actually recorded in Houston three weeks earlier and broadcast from mission control as it was feared Armstrong’s communication circuit would cut out under the fierce solar glare. Buzz Aldrin had a similar tape readied.

Under new legislation due to become law in 2007, hairdressers and barbers in England and Wales will be obliged to collect a sample of all customers’ hair in order for the Home Office to collate a national DNA database.

4 Vegetable peelings:

Blogger Robert A. Swipe said...

Richard,

Thank you for insering me into your enlarged side-bar.

I trust it wasn't too painful....


Love on ya,

Bob

p.s. I will recpi...repci....recipcrop...

(I will insert you into mine too...)

10:37 am  
Blogger Geoff said...

That's fine. As long as they pay me to go to the barbers.

1:20 pm  
Blogger Sharon J said...

Would the fact that both a Dyson vacuum cleaner and a teenager can be found in your home have any bearing on your first point?

5:47 pm  
Blogger Tennessee Jed said...

Does goat urine explode in the ultra-violet light too? Does it help if he drinks a few beers first? Dang Richard you got me wanting more information.

2:25 am  

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