Saturday, July 01, 2006

That's it.

Penalties, eh?

What on earth were Motty and Lawrenson going on about when they insisted that England should play for penalties? England have never won a penalty shoot-out so why should this be any different? What law of averages says that this time they'd win it? My fat, beardy bloke law of probability says that if you've never won one, you're going to be so bloody hexed about this one you haven't a hope in hell's chance. Why on earth take Theo Walcott as your fourth striker and not even use him? Why put so much store on someone with such a fragile temperament? Why does Stephen Gerrard even bother turning up? Bar one goal, he's been ineffectual for England. He invariably is and when I saw him walk up for a penalty my heart sank because either it was going over the bar like he usually does in internationals or it was going straight at the keeper. Yet another player who can't do it at international level. Was Frank Lampard on drugs? And look - I know shit-all about football tactics but again, fat, beardy bloke logic says that when the opposition knows you're very obviously playing with one man up front, they'll have two men on him, especially when you insist on feeding him with long balls that take ages to arrive. That's exactly what Portugal did as every time Rooney turned round from receiving the long ball, there were two bodies in front of him. Crouch was better at keeping it than Rooney was in that situation but by then he had no support - where was Walcott? Fresh legs and speed? Need I go on?

They've been calling for TV referees for ages now. Go for it, Fifa. Not to help in line decisions or offside rulings but to stop cheating arseholes like Figo and Maniche. If a camera is watching you, you're not going to go down clutching your face when a stray hand hits you in your chest (like Maniche) because the penalty will be a red card for play acting awarded by the 2nd ref. And my final whinge, let's stop this ridiculous nonsense about being "sporting" and kicking the ball into touch. It's being taken to extremes and it's being used cynically. That all started when a player had gone down and not got up for a while as a courtesy to get a stretcher on quickly; now it's expected to happen every time a player goes down and doesn't get up for 5 seconds. It's being exploited by teams who've lost territory or are being hit on the counter attack so they can timewaste. It's not sportsmanship, it's gamesmanship. Or cheating. It doesn't fit easily in a game that is riddled with cheats - when did you last see a player stick his hand up and tell the ref he handled by accident or hear "yes ref, I really did mean to tread on his nuts, you'd better send me off"? Football is meant to be a contact sport, if you go down hurt, that's part and parcel of the game.

Owen Hargreaves was mustard.

(That was my 100th post. That went quickly)

7 Vegetable peelings:

Blogger Geoff said...

Was it really the England fans whistling at the end? For penalties?

What an awful match played by two awful teams. The FA wanted the polar opposite of Keegan when they appointed Eriksson. The calm under pressure manager. It doesn't work though, the bloke was like a pressure cooker without the means to let off steam. McClaren became manager as soon as Rooney got sent off. Back to being plucky losers in two years time, then.



p.s. what does "mustard" mean?

9:50 am  
Blogger tom909 said...

Sven was just so completely wrong for England. As a nation we are by nature laid back and lazy. We need someone to put fire in our bellies and to inspire us to take a few risks - not to play safe all day long.
What a bore the whole England thing has become. And now we've got to endure 4 -5 years of Maclaren before we can reject Psycho or O'Neill and appoint some other mega-cautious wimp to takew us through to 2015. I'm not surprised Rooney stamped on that guys bollocks!

12:15 pm  
Blogger Richard Seamon said...

Geoff, think mustard type qualities (hot, adding spice and fire rather than being left to fester on the side of a hot plate).

3:32 pm  
Blogger Sharon J said...

Congratulations on 100

11:07 pm  
Blogger orange said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:37 am  
Blogger orange said...

100 Not out, rooney 20 and out.

Shrek has the audacity to come back to these shores saying he'll split his Portuguese team mate in two, he should hold his head in shame.looking forward to seeing Looney and the little winker ronaldo holding hands with fergie at the teatre of screams soon.Shrek,one the funniest comedy films of all time.
What is it with Rooney's and bad performances? Remember Mickey's sham acting as the asian in Breakfast at Tiffany's?
Maybe Wayne should stop having extra breakfasts and practice his extra curricular activities with granny Patricia Tierney,what a stunner, and he might not look like a fat donkey and stop throwing tantrums and stamping his feet and then become a real man.

12:27 pm  
Blogger orange said...

Sven Goran Eriksson was totally mustard.
Whoops-a-daisy did I write mustard,I mean he looked like a bustard.
A nice snelling knot to catch a bustard, or the good old fashioned Scaffold Knot would suffice.

4:30 pm  

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