Monday, May 14, 2007

Win!

I am 200 of the post!

As if by magic, a congratulatory email has crashed into my inbox from the National Lottery. This is the National Lottery which now has its headquarters at 1a, Bexon Court Carlton Nottingham shire NG4 1SQ Essex United Kingdom. Yes, Nottingham shire in Essex. To my readers in the United of States, that is roughly the equivalent of saying Denver, Colo rado, Alaska.

The email tells me I have won 820,000 US dollars on the National Lottery. No, I am not suspicious at all, I trust everyone. Apparently the National Lottery had a prize fund of 110,000,000 US dollars to give away. No wonder the jackpots have been getting smaller over the years, they've been saving it all up to give away to people who haven't bought tickets! How charitable. And US dollars being at such a favourable exchange rate as well.

Because I am in the UK, apparently my winnings are dealt with by the National Lottery's African agent. This would appear to be more convenient for the National Lottery based in Nottingham shire, Essex. The African agent's name is Peter Martins. He has an email address too. The National Lottery has now equipped all of its agents with a yahoo email account, for convenience no doubt. Anyway, it's peterm_lotto@yahoo.com. He has a telephone number too. (+233) 244-577 443.

I am sending Mr Martins the following email:

Dear Mr Martins. Many thanks for informing me of my win on the National Lottery. I am so glad, this will solve a lot of problems for me. Please, I am not really interested in claiming the whole amount because of the dollar/stirling exchange rate. However, I have taken the liberty of informing several of my friends, a Mr Egg, Mr Mint, Mr K. Fit and Mr F. Direct that you will be paying them a cash amount in order to clear the outstanding accounts I have with them and that they can now "call the boys off" (just our little joke, lols!). As these accounts amount to no more than say, $40,000 in total, you will be quids in, enabling you to make a sizeable charitable donation. I have passed on your details to my friends, I suspect you shall be hearing from them presently to arrange payments.

Many thanks for your generous award,

Yours etc...

Made my day that has.

9 Vegetable peelings:

Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

It sounds like a scam to me.

5:23 pm  
Blogger Richard said...

You reckon?


Damn.

6:46 pm  
Blogger Tennessee Jed said...

I sent some money to Nigeria for a phone...it must be on backorder...riiight!

I wish I had a penny for every spam scam that has passed on my accounts.

Let us know about the next letter(s)!

3:28 am  
Blogger Rol Hirst said...

Spare a tenner for a cup o' tea, guv?

2:22 pm  
Blogger Boggins said...

I will ensure that I pay you an annual visit, starting today.

Most good.

I have not spoken on th subject of Mr Blair, making me one of 0.53% I think.

2:54 pm  
Blogger Richard said...

Boggins, you are very welcome. When I can be minded, I will add you to my sidebar. However, you have to promise that you won't "do a Lucien" and stop blogging the moment I do.

Did you enjoy Morocco?

3:36 pm  
Blogger Carmenzta said...

richard, I really do have a winning ticket for the 110,000,000,000 USD lottery. So send me a money order for $20 and we'll call it a deal. No need to deal with people you don't know...

4:57 pm  
Anonymous Sharon J said...

Why didn't you tell me about this? I may have been persuaded to marry you!

5:19 pm  
Blogger Phil said...

Richard - nothing as exciting ever happens to me! The sad thing is that there are still people out there who are fooled by these clumsy scams.
Glad to see you are still on form.
Phil from Devon Shire, Staffs!!

6:13 am  

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