Wanted!

I am falling apart.

I have had a headache for the past month. When I was in Manchester two weeks ago I was having a drink of chocolate in my luxury hotel room and a small piece of tooth about the size of a pinhead fell out (my tooth, not something from the chocolate). I now have toothache the like of which I have never experienced before. I am also developing the cough that my Dad's had for the last month and to top it all, I wish I hadn't left my expensive but ever-so slightly too strong prescription glasses in Marrakech last year because my arms no longer extend far enough. My head feels like it's being taken apart by Blaster Bates. Each and every day.

I am a fully paid up member of the National Health Service, have been since before I was born. I could go to the doctor here but because I never intended to leave Crewe for ever, I'm still registered there. All surgeries are linked by computer so what's the problem with going to any old doctor? No, I have to fill in forms and wait for days. Meanwhile I die of brain worms. Likewise the dentist. We are exhorted almost from birth to look after our teeth, and I always have, but even though I don't fear the dentist one jot, I've not really been able to afford to go for the past year or so because while it is deemed perfectly fair to treat any old disease for free, teeth have to be paid for, even on the NHS. And the rates the NHS pay dentists barely cover their costs anyway so most of them can't be arsed with doing NHS work. There are 15 dentist practices in this area yet only one is taking on new patients and nobody knows which one it is. I couldn't afford it anyway. I'm stuffed. Any dentists out there? Please? Doesn't matter where you are.