Notices I Would Like to See No. 1
I wish the following to be pinned up on the inside of every supermarket public lavatory door:
This is a supermarket, we sell food. You will be the first one on my back if anything I sell makes you or your precious family vomit. Go back and wash your hands, you filthy piece of pond scum. Thoroughly. Use the soap and hot water we have graciously provided for free. If you don't do this I will will have no option other than to find out where you live and shit in your fridge.