Thursday, November 06, 2008

Notices I Would Like to See No. 1

Some things really annoy me; the so-called "great" British public, for one. This is the first in an occasional series. You are invited to contribute otherwise I may be forced to think up some more.

I wish the following to be pinned up on the inside of every supermarket public lavatory door:


Polite Notice:

This is a supermarket, we sell food. You will be the first one on my back if anything I sell makes you or your precious family vomit. Go back and wash your hands, you filthy piece of pond scum. Thoroughly. Use the soap and hot water we have graciously provided for free. If you don't do this I will will have no option other than to find out where you live and shit in your fridge.

The Manager.

2 Vegetable peelings:

Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

Haven't you heard? There is a new age of liberalism sweeping the globe, harmony and understanding, this is the dawning etc.
The world is no longer at home to Mrs Bossy.

rimic - to imitate in verse.

4:34 pm  
Blogger The Dotterel said...

Oh, I don't know. I think there should be a new - direct notices - movement. This is just the start!

1:10 pm  

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