Thursday, September 03, 2009

Wit and wisdom.

There has been an outbreak of the most pernicious and damaging disease known to mankind - Management Consultancy.

I tell you, if it wasn't for those sick buggers, we'd be laughing. Here's some free advice: stop paying management consultants. If they could actually manage, they'd be doing it.


We've all been there haven't we. Couple too many, fall asleep, wake up on a different planet. Most of us make it back. Obviously some don't.

Japanese first lady abducted by aliens

5 Vegetable peelings:

Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

The trouble is that there is a strong case for management consultancy. Most office practices are hideously inefficient, and I suspect that that is also true of the majority of practices in an organisation such as the NHS.
This week I made an appointment at a new hospital, where the clerk/receptionist had a computer monitor on her desk, but the appointments were made on sheets of paper - a binder for each member of staff.
I also recognise that there are never going to be enough resources to provide ideal health care to the whole of humanity.
Having said all of that, I would like to see the minimum salary for nurses increased to £35,000. Management consultants are worth less, and should therefore be paid less.
Apart from that, I am with you.
(That's enough serious stuff. Ed.)

12:16 pm  
Blogger Richard said...

Oh, I do actually agree. There are places in the NHS that could be trimmed quite effectively but the marker for efficiency ought to be clinical excellence. The cost savings should be from ensuring the patients need not attend hospital again. The problem with the NHS is that it's not a business in that it has no product to offer and repeated governments have tried to run it like one.

I had a similar experience this morning at my surgery. My doc asked me to make another appointment and gave me a slip to give to the receptionist with the details on, including my patient number. "What's this then?" I said. "New procedure" said Paul my doc. "They don't trust you to get it right when you pass on a verbal request from us so they asked us to write it down. Tsk." he complained "Ok." I said. "What does that say? 3 weeks? What's your name? I can't read his writing" said the receptionist, falling foul of the oldest chestnut in the wood: doctor scrawl. 100% of FAIL.

3:11 pm  
Blogger Rog said...

A consultant is someone who borrows your watch to tell you what the time is. Any organization is rammed full of people who know how to make things better.

9:08 am  
Blogger Richard said...

Yes, Rog what I'd intended to add to my previous comment is that the suggestion box is one of the best and most underused resources. Moreover, the suggestions have the employer's best interests at heart and not the consultancy's.

1:21 pm  
Blogger Andy said...

Management consultants wouldn't be neccessary if all companies run smoothly and efficiently.Since being abducted by aliens into a parrallel world I can speak from expierience!

3:10 pm  

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