Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Gabba Gabba Hey.

Today is the most important day of the past 18 months. Great events will soon be unfolding thousands of miles away as a handful of brave South Africans dodgy Englishmen go into battle against a ruthless and unyielding foe. There will be tales of great heroism and supreme athletic prowess and really quite appalling haircuts.

The nation's already hopeless productivity will once again suffer as those suckers who have greased the Digger's greedy palms with silver survive on half an hour of sleep for a week, as not even his mighty influence cannot transport the sun-blenched and snake-infested battlefield to a more convenient for the advertisers longtitude. And you will be forced to listen to the sages Huss-ain and Sireeyan for your trouble. And with a bit of luck, you'll get Gooch, too. Serves you right.

Savour these last few hours of glorious optimism because as sure as eggs is eggs, bloody Ricky Ponting and some squeaky-voiced youth probably dragging his still bleeding umbilical cord behind him as he runs in will have surely wrecked all hopes any sane Englishman has of exercising his birth-right by laughing heartily at the whining convicts by 3am tomorrow morning.

It's only a game. Isn't it?

8 Vegetable peelings:

Blogger Dave said...

I'll stick with Radio 4 then.

I'm still optimistic mind you.

5:36 pm  
Blogger Rog said...

I have no idea what you're talking about.

(That's what Dave normally says isn't it?)

6:18 pm  
Blogger Donn Escapeons said...

I'm lost too.
I'd like to buy a vowel.

It's prolly aboot rugby, cricket or a bridge tournament that's happening in Australia, Sith Ahfrikka or the Falklands.
Am I getting warm?

7:41 pm  
Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

I think that Radio 4 has gorn orff terribly. Gooch, Tufnell, Alec Stewart. The Sky chaps are jolly good, (although we will have to put up with Warne this time), I am even quite fond of Hussain, and have almost forgiven him for being such a bad cricketer.
Alas, I cannot share your excitement, I have been getting up of a morning to catch up with Tendulkar, Dravid and Sehwag, and they are so much more entertaining than anyone in the upcoming series.
And if the England cricket team are even as quarter as good as the rugby team were against the Aussies, I will forget all of the above and compare Collingwood to Barry Richards.

10:22 pm  
Blogger Richard said...

Seems I was right.

I can't stand Stewart, he's the teacher's pet you really wanted to lamp at school but Tufnell's OK. His insight is often as good and accurate as Boycott's.

I collect and read cricket biographies whenever I can and this has coloured my views on many of the commentators. Boycott's are actually quite funny (he's done several), in a Boycott kind of way. Gower's is excellent and extremely self-deprecating. Let's just say Botham would be a useful man to have in front of you on an unlit path.

2:55 pm  
Blogger Robert Swipe said...

I haven't been able to bring myself to listen to the cricket since Brian Johnson took that last, long walk back to the great pavilion in the sky, I'm afraid.

It's all got too commercial for me. I liekd the days when they would spend several hours discussing the merits or otherwiose of a Dundee cake someone had sent in and then you'd hear, apropos of nothing it seemed, 'oh, he's bowled him!' or similar.

Still, your precience is top be admired Richard. I do the same thing with the Arsenal nowadays...



3:36 pm  
Blogger Richard said...

They still do the cake thing, Bob. It is the BBC, after all. I'm not sure Blofeld is there yet, I didn't hear him last night. He was doing his one man show until recently and was here in Crewe a couple of weeks ago.

4:54 pm  
Blogger Richard said...

Looks like I was wrong.

12:52 am  

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