Saturday, December 31, 2005

Who ate all the pies?

I did. Not quite sure when but it appears I did. And every single one of them.

Going to a party tonight in a smart house and it struck me yesterday that since I was now working from home I had both stopped wearing suits and stopped having smart clothes supplied by my employers. I knew also that I'd put a few pounds on. The dread shopping expedition beckoned and men aren't good at shopping. As a rule I only wear the lazy man's uniform of jeans and t-shirt so I was struggling to a) find a style and b) remember what size I was. Black is the great stand-in and able to camouflage the ravages of age better than most colours so I had no trouble getting a decent shirt even though it's a little bit gigolo; a little bit "Chico-time."

What on earth went with it? What does a your average middle-aged man about the settee wear when in polite company? I had to settle for the old perennial, black chinos. But the whole world's off partying and they're in short supply and Crewe's a bit of a pit for shopping so I ended up in BHS where they had plenty. I grabbed a couple of pairs of 34" waisted ones, this being the last known distance around my personal equator. Shock and surprise then when they barely went up my legs. 36" were no better. Rather frighteningly, I now measure 38" around the middle. Yesterday I'd said to Sharon that I thought I'd lost a little bit. Now it appears I'm just getting larger in the same proportions. What a cruel evil thing age is.

1 Vegetable peelings:

Blogger greatwhitebear said...

oh hell, just wait till you get to be my age!

9:05 pm  

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