Thursday, March 09, 2006

Search me

I had vowed I'd never do one of these but today I must as I feel I have been somewhat let down.

Satisfying my burgeoning ego, I checked my referrals to see that there was yet another link from here . It appears I am now number one (up from 3 last week) out of 2,344,327 possible choices should you be inclined to type "goat food" into MSN search. Well I'm quite pleased as there are many sites out there devoted to the subject of food for goats and I beat them into the proverbial cocked hat. As any fule kno, goats eat everything and anything, hence the name and nature of the content of this blog but, and here's the point, they do. End of. No need to update your legitmate site on ungulate nutrition because once you've said what they can and cannot eat, your site is dead in the water. Mine, constantly updated with trivial bollocks has stolen a march on the conventional and anodyne. I am justifiably proud.

Having said that, I do feel partly qualified to lecture on the subject of goat food as I once kept a goat and fed it. He was purchased during the 1974 world cup and named Humphrey after the popular Milk Marketing Board advertising of the time. He was an Anglo Nubian and somewhat deranged. In fact were he human, he would probably have been sectioned or at least suffer from Tourettes. His preferred method of greeting was to screech, run up behind you and swing his immodestly sized head into the rear of your knees, thus felling you and leaving you at his mercy. Thankfully, the Anglo Nubian is bereft of horns. His favourite food was ash leaves although I'm not sure they were healthy in the amounts he used to eat. Certainly do not feed your goat daffodils or walnut leaves. Do not go out to Canterbury for the day and forget to check his tether is secure otherwise everything green in your carefully nurtured garden will have disappeared come your return.

I have digressed. I am upset because the devil incarnate of MSN seems to have stolen a march on the great and good at Google. Obviosuly I fill pages and pages of Google Blogsearch but who uses that? Type "goat food" into Google and I'm struggling to get into the top 50. I'm even beaten by a blog called "foodgoat" that doesn't appear to have anything at all about goats in it (it has yielded this site though, which looks good. Cop the welsh rarebit recipe with beer in. Oh yes). In fact, the first reference to this place on Google is my slot on Eatonweb and nobody's used that yet anyway. I'm aggrieved.

Somebody once found me searching google for "dangers of laminator". I was 72nd on the list. The sad git had waded through 71 other sites before choosing one that has nothing to do with laminators or even their dangers. Sadder than "welding" (38th out 122,000) but certainly not as disturbing as "football stars gay pictures notw " or "is gilmour a paedo". By a short margin, my favourite is "How is Sharon doing? Ends up on knees" which merited me a 2nd place out of 31,753 possible references in Blogger. The Sharon bit I can get, but the knees?

3 Vegetable peelings:

Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

I think you are feeling a little unloved. I, on the other hand, being second on the list for those typing "I am being fellated" into Google, am feeling suitably smug.

10:13 pm  
Blogger Richard Seamon said...

I've just checked, you've been promoted to top spot. Lucky. If, on the other hand you type "I am being fellated by Stephen Hawking" you grab the top two. Wow!

10:17 pm  
Blogger Tennessee Jed said...

Who really knows why these search engines do what they do? I find it to be good fun to hit the I'm feeling lucky button and see where I land.

9:40 am  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home