Monday, April 03, 2006

Just You Mark My Words No 1

I have decided to do an occasional prophesy. Many times I have guessed correctly the outcome of certain events in the privacy of my own head so this is more so I can actually point to something and say that well, yes I did actually say that and I'm not being wise after. I don't profess to have any clairvoyant powers either so most of this is just wishful thinking. One thing I will not attempt to predict is the outcome of any cricket match. I am satisfied that my talents in this direction are woefully inadequate although I guarantee my attendance at any cricket match will reap dividends for the team I am not supporting.

OK, here it is. Straight from the goat's mouth:

Chelsea are chokers. They will be overtaken by Manchester United with one game to go. United have hauled in a big lead before, it's looking increasingly likely they can do it again.

That's it.

4 Vegetable peelings:

Blogger orange said...

Do you still envisage that the gutless northerners can still catch the brave southerners of Chelsea in the race for the title?
Manchester is a dump compared to beautiful west London, and the only true supporters of Manchester are City fans.

6:11 pm  
Blogger Richard Seamon said...

Yes, they can still do it. I'd prefer Arsenal to be in front though.

As for Manchester being a dump, well I can't really say as I live in Crewe but I visit quite a bit. But I'm a Londoner by birth and I lived there for 20 years so feel qualified to whinge. London is a disgrace as a capital city. It's a tip and the first things you notice when you move up here is the lack of rubbish everywhere and that the water out of the tap tastes good. Oh, and there isn't a hosepipe ban and there's still plenty of green space without planning permission.

9:00 pm  
Blogger orange said...

The reason that tap water tastes like a vintage wine to northerners is quite simple.
The reason is this.Life is so dull,bleak and boring due to the high unemployment,cold weather,no future and being so close to the damned Jocks,the result is the need to numb the pain,and an extraordinarily high intake of Prozac,ecstasy and cocaine is being digested up north and ultimately being passed back into the human water supply,so there's no surprise that the tap water tastes so good up north.

The south has plenty of water to go around because it is being supplied by one of the seven wonders of the world, the beautiful cleanThames, a river where truly upstanding ladies and gentlemen of a civilized society stroll peacefully along side,whilst they admire the skill of the educated boats people and absorb the heritage all around them. Yes that Thames water is so natural that it tastes better than holy water.

The need for a great deal of water up north is obvious too.They need water to clean the disease filled excrement of pigeons from their sooty chimneys and backyards.Once this task has beeen completed, it's into to the kitchen where water is required to cook their bizarre foods and then it's the highlight of the day, a night on the sofa to watch pantomime on TV, a real yawn based on a slum called Coronation Street.
Now all the characters in this drivel seem to sum up the north quite well as they are always in the Rovers Return, a public house,drinking their dole money away or breeding with each other or an adventure to the local greasey spoon for some black pudding,yum.
But in this absurd 'programme' you will fail to see the beauty of the real Manchester,oops sorry,I'll call it by it's real name, Gunchester, as missing on the Street are the hordes of armed criminal gangs that terrorise the locals and kill people with their guns and drugs.These gangs are ones which the armed police patrols describe as drug criminals that regard guns as a fashion accessory.
Also Coronation St fails to show the lovely Liam Gallacher's of the area. What a role model the kids have up there with Liam and his side kick brother,real nice gentlemen,the kind of fellow you would give your daughter away to.

Crewe, well we're talking mersey now then.
What expectations a vistor must have of the city of Liverpool and it's people when they land at the city's airport if you stop and consider it's named after an egotistic,over-rated,drug taking pop artist who believed his band to bigger than God himself,John Lennon.Can you Imagine,worst song in music history, what the city has to offer poor old Fred foreigner? Brookside and a strange dialect that seems more like a
Welsh/Frog drinking session.

Lennon loved his city so much he and that other weirdo wife
upped and left it for the States.

Toxteth? Is that a town in Iraq?

4:49 pm  
Blogger Richard Seamon said...

Good, he's fallen for it. You stay in the shithole, we'll keep the bits with the green between the houses. What's a hosepipe ban?

8:23 pm  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home