Walking through Crewe's vibrant and exciting town centre this morning my senses were assailed. Not by the smells from the exotic food stalls (Costa Coffee, McDonalds and Greggs the Bakers) or by the jungle rhythms of our very own Peruvian Indian pan pipe dance troupe (yes, we really do have one but they appear to have gone home), it was something altogether less exciting but very much more sinister. As I rounded the corner into Market Square, there, where Britannia, our beloved (and aroused. Am I the only person in Crewe to have noticed a certain tumescence in the detail of her bodice?) war memorial used to stand, was the above abomination spouting its disgusting propaganda at a volume that can only be described as fairly loud. What I did find heartening was that nobody walking past took the slightest interest in it. Pleasing also have been the stories from the last few weeks of Murdoch losing a vast amount of money. He must be on his uppers if all he can afford is a caravan holiday in Crewe in December.
You do all realise that as of the 14 May next year all the currently installed Sky Plus boxes will cease to work. Software fault. Yes. Really. I didn't make that rumour up at all.