Thursday, January 15, 2009

Bonsai gardners in mole sex outrage*

I often weep at this government's demonstrations of its apparent complete misunderstanding of the trials that currently assail society and the planet and today's announcement is no exception. Sob . On the one hand they make capital out of having the most stringent carbon reduction targets and then go and give the green light to concreting over another swathe of West London in order to build another bloody runway, encouraging goodness knows what. Tourists, presumably as surely business is all done by the wireless interpipes now, isn't it? Wasn't that what it was meant to make easier apart from access to Russian granny pr0n? So, yes it's tourism. You can all travel to more remote destinations to gawp at how "poor" people (who were considerably more enriched before our arrival) live, encourage their "growth" and thereby just perpetuate the problem. At least you will be able to do it more quietly than you were able to before. I will remain steadfastly confused. You could go Scunthorpe, the exchange rate is better.

However, as is always the case in these situations, some self-serving prat provides the entertainment. In this case it's a resident of the village of Sipson, which will be flattened in the name of progress. Step forward local wife and mum, Tracey, who moved to Sipson for the improved quality of life. Yes, if I want to improve the quality of my life, I move within a few hundred yards of one of the world's busiest airports on the edge of one of the world's biggest cities where houseprices are considerably more expensive than say, a small rural town surrounded by fields and birdsong. She then goes on to say something so thoughtless, trite and inane that my immediate thought is to hi-jack a cement pump and start the project in her living room right now. It really only goes to prove that Londoners imagine this island begins and ends at the M25:

"We have been here for 12 years and all of a sudden Gordon Brown wants to change our way of living. For me, the only option now is to leave the country, maybe for New Zealand or Canada." Or Kabul.

Will you be flying?

*If you are a first time visitor, have read this far and are disappointed a) you are extremely perverted and need help and b) it worked.

9 Vegetable peelings:

Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

Thank you. That was lovely. Can't get away from this news can we? I keep yelling "cunt" at all sorts of people, on television, radio and internet. That lily livered tosspot Hillary Benn was on Radio 5 this evening. They asked him "You've been nobbled, haven't you?". Didn't have the courage to admit it. Twat. Him and all the other apologists for planet poisoning take great care to point out that the majority of the air pollution in the Heathrow area is caused not by the nice shiny jets, but by road traffic. YES AND THERE WILL BE EVEN MORE OF IT WHEN THERE ARE 50% MORE PASSENGERS GOING TO THE AIRPORT YOU PUDDING.
I am going to apply for a permit to change species. I've had my fill of this load of twats.

9:39 pm  
Blogger Dave said...

What Vicus said. But more moderately.

9:21 am  
Anonymous Andy said...

Promise I will try to go to China by train in the future after flying to Moscow to catch it! Just glad I've got a job out in the fresh air( according to official air quality monitoring)

12:40 pm  
Blogger Richard said...

Vicus, yes. As you know, I haven't got a television so my language is more moderate. Until Jeremy Vine comes on the wireless who I swear is being used deliberately by agencies unknown to give me a heart attack.

Dave, what I said to Vicus.

Andy, are they still using the same air monitors? The ones that always gave a positive result at the most polluted part of the country's road network?

1:41 pm  
Blogger Dave said...

Hope your back eases soon.

2:50 pm  
Blogger R said...

What Vicus said but way, way less moderately

8:49 pm  
Blogger Zed said...

Vicus, change species again?

Yes Richard, England - well, London, isn't all that green is it? Death by planes - get on yer bike.

3:27 pm  
Anonymous Andy said...

Probably done the air monitoring last night when there was a bit of a breeze blowing!! Always comes up well within safe limits anyway!!!As for Heathrow this third runway will have exactly same effect as widening the M25 just create more traffic.As for saying they will restrict the number of slots to keep the pollution down why not restrict them by not building it in the 1st place ARRGH!!!

11:12 am  
Anonymous Steve Dix said...

Will no-one think of the moles?

2:21 pm  

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