This time next year...
As regular readers of this journal you will be aware that I am not among the wealthiest 99.9% of this great country's population. I am not even among the wealthiest 99.9% of Crewe's population and that's going some. However, I have a plan. I have set it out in the following letter:
Dear City Type,
I've got a cast iron system for making you loads of wedge. This is kosher, straight up. Honest, it really is. I realise that you've been kippered recently by some so-called financial experts and are probably a bit wary but you really can't go wrong with this one. Trust me.
Magic Beans. Easy - can't believe you haven't thought of it before. Anyway, I have some of these big boys and they're yours for a small consideration. Plant these, wait a few months and they'll give you a harvest of pure, 100% money. What's more, I have an inexhaustable supply of them. Send me a very large Jiffy bag full of £50 notes and I'll send you a bag of magic beans by return. This is the opportunity of a lifetime Would I lie to you? I've got an MBA! Look, I'll tell you what, send me the money now and I'll even plant them myself on my own allotment - saves you the bother. I'll send you the money when it's ready.
Look forward to hearing from you,
Honest Dick MBA,
PO Box 231
Crewe.
Dear City Type,
I've got a cast iron system for making you loads of wedge. This is kosher, straight up. Honest, it really is. I realise that you've been kippered recently by some so-called financial experts and are probably a bit wary but you really can't go wrong with this one. Trust me.
Magic Beans. Easy - can't believe you haven't thought of it before. Anyway, I have some of these big boys and they're yours for a small consideration. Plant these, wait a few months and they'll give you a harvest of pure, 100% money. What's more, I have an inexhaustable supply of them. Send me a very large Jiffy bag full of £50 notes and I'll send you a bag of magic beans by return. This is the opportunity of a lifetime Would I lie to you? I've got an MBA! Look, I'll tell you what, send me the money now and I'll even plant them myself on my own allotment - saves you the bother. I'll send you the money when it's ready.
Look forward to hearing from you,
Honest Dick MBA,
PO Box 231
Crewe.
posted by Richard at 3:58 pm
7 Vegetable peelings:
Remember me when you're a millionaire.
Rol, let me have your bank details and passwords and I'll transfer your cut in as soon as. You can trust me.
Could you plant some in my garden please? I'll give you my jar of Euros.
Cheques in the post.
ISTR that such "bargains" usually end up with a rather large "gentleman" who is rather indisposed to inhabitants of the Sceptred Isle.
No, I don't mean a Russian Debt-collection service.
Change that to "a large jiffy bag of Euro's" as the humble quid is currently in the nosedive position and you are on to a winner.
delcatto - I don't think so. I changed 30 euros back on Monday and that twee Mr Crozier at the Post Office only gave me £24 for them, the tight sod.
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