Lies

I have just been to this site. If you scroll down it you will see a ticker denoting the number of new mobiles supposedly being bought in the UK during your visit to the site. There is something wrong with it. Watch it closely. 34 sales per second. Have you ever been past a mobile phone shop in your local high street? You must have done, they are the only shops still open, which is quite surprising. Next time you do walk past, look in. There are never any customers. There's usually a bored Saturday girl ready to pounce as soon as you look in through the door and a fat bloke talking about video games but certainly no customers. So how does that ticker manage to register 34 sales per second? Do the maths. At that rate everyone in the country will have bought a new mobile within 22 days. Including children who can't even speak yet. In fact, by the time the average baby has learned to walk it will be on its 15th new phone. I'm on my 5th in the decade since I got my first which means somebody somewhere has got through an extra 145 or so in that time to make up the average. In fact, only the other day as I drove past I was wondering why the Phones4U warehouse along Weston Rd in Crewe is so huge. It looks to be the same size as the BargainBooze one next door. Maybe that's the connection.

In other news: a check on my stats reveals that a visitor has appeared via Wikio, a name new to me and a splendid site, doubtless worth a visit or two as they display a certain degree of taste and discernment. A visit to their listings reveals that you are reading what they currently rate as the 685th (and climbing!) most influential blog in the country. My dear friend Scurra, on the other hand - and despite his recent puff in the New Statesman - is currently languishing at 888.