Guts.*

I have been ruminating a lot recently on my future. My search for another job isn't going too well and fortune is running at its lowest ebb. Perhaps it's down to my identity; maybe my name is unlucky. I have therefore decided to petition to have my name changed well in time for my rapidly approaching half-century. From the 30th December 2009, the 49th anniversary of my appearance on this planet, and onwards, I wish to be known as:

Wendell J. Arserope.

That should do it.

*No need to be alarmed, it's biblical. Ish. John Wycliffe, the 14th Century theologian and contemporary of Chaucer, believed, counter to the wishes of the established church who, realising that doing so would strip away much of the mystery and therefore any moneymaking opportunities (nowadays we call them bankers), that the Lord's word should be spread freely amongst the population at large in a language they could understand, instead of Latin and the increasingly derided and despised French. So in 1385 he translated the Bible into the lingua franca, English. The only problem being that English didn't really exist in any common recognisable form, it being in an early evolutionary phase and like anyone else writing at the time, he introduced a few words or phrases, either from the contemporary oral record or his imagination . Like the self-explanatory "ballocks". "Arseropes" is actually the extremely descriptive and rather likeable word for intestines. Don't say you never learn anything here.