"Good morning, sir."
"Morning. I'm in a hurry and I've just been to the dentist and the right side of my head is dragging along the pavement three yards behind me. Get on with it."
"Have you had an accident within the last two years that resulted in an injury?"
[Thinks] "Yes. Yes I have actually."
"Did you know that you may be able to claim compensation for any injury or time you had to spend away from work resulting from the accident?"
"Yes, I've heard it's possible but I'd never given it much thought to be honest. Until now. Carry on."
"Well, we at Ambulance Chasers & Compo (North West) can help you claim any financial compensation you may be due on a strictly no-win, no fee basis."
"Terrific. Tell me more! I'm all ears."
"What was the nature of your accident and injury?"
"I broke my right hand in three places. Couldn't write or type. Dreadful."
"And how did you do that?"
"A head belonging to someone from Ambulance Chasers & Compo (North West) fell on it at some considerable speed. I just couldn't get out of the way quick enough."
Coming soon: How to avoid NSPCC Tabarded Snatch Squads.
(Blog whore bit: this will no doubt generate google ads featuring insurance companies offering compo. I've got car tax looming, be nice. They are fools and as such are easily parted from their money).
*In hindsight it did. At the time and under the influence of a hefty dose of novocaine, I told him to "go away".