Strike me down.
Death is sad. I went to a funeral this week and it was sad. Even though I never really knew Sharon's dad that well and despite him being far from perfect as a person, I fought hard to stop my chin wobbling when they played "I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles" as his coffin disappeared. Jade's death is sad, she was young and had small children. But that is the end of it. I do not understand the nature of her singular fame; how somebody can in turn be demonised for her ignorant racism and then lauded as if she were a saint by doing nothing other than acting heroically stupidly. I don't understand how Max Clifford can refer to her as being dignified when there is nothing remotely dignified in having the nation's media slavering and drooling over your last few weeks on earth, supposedly being sympathetic when all they are really doing is making money out of her. I don't understand the bishop who blessed her wedding calling her a saint and a princess. I don't get how she was "doing it for the kids" when the kids are now going to have a hard job growing up realising exactly why their mother was famous (for acting like a slapper on a "reality" programme. Lest we forget, she had no discernible talent) alongside the pressure of the redtops wanting to know how they're spending their inheritence. If she really valued their future wellbeing she would have gone quietly without fuss. She'd made enough already. I really cannot understand a world where absolutely everything has a price, even extreme suffering. To invoke the dire old cliché, what a terrible indictment of the society we live in etc...etc...If you want to see celebrity dignity, look at the odd few pictures available of Liam Neeson and his family's totally uncontrived grief following the tragic accidental death of his beautiful and genuinely talented wife this week. Better still, don't. You are the kind of perv who slows down driving past accidents.
Moreover, I just don't understand how it's taken the sad plight of this completely worthless nonentity to raise the public awareness of one the most pernicious diseases known. If the value to yourself of your own health and wellbeing is so minimal that it has taken the death of a Bermondsey gobshite for you to get your act together then please do not ever again accuse the government of nannying the populace or the health service of being incompetent. If you've not been bothered, why should they? Granted cervical cancer screening should be made available to younger women and people have been lobbying for this years - I can remember a friend of my ex-wife's coming to our wedding in '85 and being dead within a year when she was only 22, from the same disease - but sit in any doctor's surgery and there are plenty of advertisements for screening programmes and well-women clinics. Well, there always have been in the surgery waiting rooms I've been in.
If you have been offended by any of the views expressed in this piece you can wreak your revenge by clicking on the the advertisements on the right. Every time you do this a powerful electric shock is delivered to my underpants causing me unimginable pain. Do it, you know it makes cents.