I was discussing the election with my mother yesterday. During our chat she mentioned that she didn't recognise the candidates on her leaflets, which is strange as Damian Green has been the MP there for a while and the Tory majority has historically been such that most of the opposition parties tend not to bother turning up. Green's predecessors were Keith Speed, Navy minister under Attila but resigned before the Falklands because he dared to go against her (he resigned protesting against cuts, before you get carried away) and from AD 526 until 1974, Dear Old Bill Deedesh, and you don't get much more Tory than the ex editor of the Telegraph. Actually, there was a two year blip when they voted Liberal but nobody talks about that anymore. I suggested she'd been subjected to a boundary change; Ashford, after all, is growing almost exponentially and the historical constituency would be struggling to stay within the usual numerical size limits in its existing boundaries. There was a brief rustle.
"Oh yes, just found the polling cards that arrived the other day. Oh, we're in Folkestone and Hythe now." Gasp! That's like...FRANCE! Imagine going to sleep in your house along the East Lancs Road in Greater Manchester and waking up finding you'd been moved to Merseyside. Still, it could have been worse; Folkestone and Hythe's most recent MP stood down for this election as he'd had enough of representing the peeepul.
Actually, I've noticed something else: my Nazi candidate shares the same surname as the one standing my mother's constituency. Has the one-eyed slug (the one-eyed slug that likes
bigots, I mean) got a Gregory Peck lookalikee churning them out in Bolivia or something?