Monday, May 03, 2010

Constituent parts

I was discussing the election with my mother yesterday. During our chat she mentioned that she didn't recognise the candidates on her leaflets, which is strange as Damian Green has been the MP there for a while and the Tory majority has historically been such that most of the opposition parties tend not to bother turning up. Green's predecessors were Keith Speed, Navy minister under Attila but resigned before the Falklands because he dared to go against her (he resigned protesting against cuts, before you get carried away) and from AD 526 until 1974, Dear Old Bill Deedesh, and you don't get much more Tory than the ex editor of the Telegraph. Actually, there was a two year blip when they voted Liberal but nobody talks about that anymore. I suggested she'd been subjected to a boundary change; Ashford, after all, is growing almost exponentially and the historical constituency would be struggling to stay within the usual numerical size limits in its existing boundaries. There was a brief rustle.

"Oh yes, just found the polling cards that arrived the other day. Oh, we're in Folkestone and Hythe now." Gasp! That's like...FRANCE! Imagine going to sleep in your house along the East Lancs Road in Greater Manchester and waking up finding you'd been moved to Merseyside. Still, it could have been worse; Folkestone and Hythe's most recent MP stood down for this election as he'd had enough of representing the peeepul.

Actually, I've noticed something else: my Nazi candidate shares the same surname as the one standing my mother's constituency. Has the one-eyed slug (the one-eyed slug that likes bigots, I mean) got a Gregory Peck lookalikee churning them out in Bolivia or something?

6 Vegetable peelings:

Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

My constituency moved too! They didn't even ask me. The retiring MP in my new constituency is Michael Mates, whose dad should have bought a packet.

5:16 pm  
Blogger Richard said...

I sat on a bus with him once.

5:19 pm  
Blogger Rog said...

Were you best Mates? Shurely Shomething Wrong?!!

7:02 pm  
Blogger Dave said...

I move every five years, so have never voted in the same constituency as I'd voted in the previous election.

6:49 am  
Anonymous MarkG said...

You had a CHAT with your mum about the election?

When I spoke to mine, it was more of a political rally. She was threatening to sharpen her kitchen knives and take to the barricades in support of a fairer electoral system.

I tried to explain how this might not be the smartest thing to do at age 87, but you know how mums are.

1:07 pm  
Blogger Richard said...

Ah, well when I'm in residence my Mother's stock interjection for when I get animated about something, which is usually quite often, especially if I can make the root cause of any problem directly linked to 1979-1990, is often along the lines of "Must go out and feed the horses". In that part of Kent politics is something that happens elsewhere and you just have to go along with it.

3:02 pm  

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