Friday, April 16, 2010

In which I refuse to join the mass debate.

Funny, I thought there was an election on. Apparently not if, like me, you don't have a television, listen to Radio 4 or can afford an unbiased newspaper. I exclude the interwebs from this list of media as it's a research tool; as yet, the computers in the library do not canvass me involuntarily, I have to really want to search election information out and you only get an hour for free. As yet, I have not had a single piece of election communication. Nobody cares about me.

A week in and I know two of my local candidates: the sitting Tory, who is exceedingly personable and polite and very visible around town. He won a by-election two years ago in the full glare of the national media and took over the seat from an old-labour national treasure. He's a good and, so far, efficient constituency MP who has shared a platform fighting with the unions to try and keep the local sorting office open. Unfortunately he's a Tory. The Labour candidate is only known to me because I can't resist baiting him on one of the local blogs, taunting him for belonging to a party that has apparently forgotten the meaning of socialism and social welfare. He'll turn up for the opening of a door if he can get his picture in the paper. There is a LibDem candidate but I don't know who he or she is, which kind of fits in with the LibDem ethos.

As for the rest, I don't know. Have we got a Nazi? According to my friend Jules who runs the aforementioned local blog and knows everything and everyone in town, no. Which is a shame because at least I would have someone to shout at or wave the thick piece of wood at that I keep behind the door especially for such an event. I find this strange because we have a Nazi Euro MP. Maybe if the local Poles were black it would be different. Perhaps we've got one of Mr. Farage's Nazi lites; I wouldn't know. As for the hippy tree-huggers and pot-hole campaigners, not a clue.

Yes, I am being deliberately difficult. I'm intelligent enough to find out this for myself. I know the idealogical differences between the big parties and the main talking points. But there are many who don't and don't have the ability to access the information. This, so far, is a non-election being fought by the most inept, faceless and characterless set of politicians I can remember and it is the first one in which I am considering spoiling my ballot. At least then nobody will get my vote.

Coda: Since I posted this I have a) bought The Independent. Apparently Mr. Clegg is now the prime minister and b) about 20 minutes ago, crossed a busy road, dodging a couple of swiftly running blokes as they rounded a blind corner in a hurry. I looked up to see that I had narrowly avoided being knocked over by our incumbent MP. I turned to hail him but hey, I couldn't be bothered.

2 Vegetable peelings:

Blogger Andy said...

they are all the same .None of them will answer a question with a straight answer in case it gives a clue to what their policies might actually be!All they do is spew out statistics proving how good they are and our bad the opposition is. That's after the lies and damned lies of course!Just as well i'm not cynical!

8:34 pm  
Blogger Richard said...

Listening to Stephen Nolan on 5Live last night discussing the debate. A LibDem supporter came on praising Nick Clegg's performance. Nolan asked him if he could actually remember anything Clegg had said that marked him apart from the others. "He spoke with authority, he actually sounded as if he knew what he was talking about." "But can you tell me what he was talking about? Something he actually said?" "Well, if you're going to have that attitude towards me..." But Nolan had a point. Anyone who's voting on style over substance is doing it wrong.

10:58 am  

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