Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Who needs Jeremy Kyle?

This is a tragic story. It featured in last week's Crewe Chronicle and goes to show the perils a life of heavy drinking can bring, one of which is the kind of comedy demise outlined below. I suspect he didn't do it for the LOLs.

Inquest hears of Crewe man drowning in bizarre bathroom tragedy

I'm very sorry if anyone is offended by this. I'm not, he was the previous occupant of my house and left my bedroom littered with .22 airgun pellets, holes in the ceiling and one in the outside pane of the double glazing where someone shot back. There are also numerous skeletal remains in the garden, the result of his other hobby which was, according to a neighbour, shooting the small birds sitting on the fence. There are a few other stories which, although for the benefit of this post are hearsay, indicate he probably got what he deserved.

7 Vegetable peelings:

Blogger Dave said...

I'll remain teetotal then.

4:59 pm  
Blogger Malc said...

I'd dispute the word 'recovering' in the intro of the story.

9:34 am  
Blogger Richard said...

Indeed. A good spot by the ex-hack. I hope your copy was free of such thoughtlesness, Malc.

I did find an empty can of White Lightning behind my hotwater tank a while ago, in traditional alco-tramp stylee. I am also slightly indebted to him in one way. He and his partner (also now deceased) managed to trash my place to such an extent that by the time I moved in it had been fitted with a nice new kitchen courtesy of the housing association. Had they not been so crap at life my kitchen would have been replaced last week in the latest round of refurbishments meaning I would have had to suffer a week of living with the door wide open in the middle o the coldest winter since 10,000 BC and not being able to afford to keep the heating on full blast. Thanks Frank, I owe you one. No I don't, I've been sending back your mail and your unpaid gas bills for the last 3 years, so forget it.

4:36 pm  
Blogger Robert Swipe said...

I'm going to be wondering all day now why that bath was full...

(You don't suppose he'd... no. let's not go there...)



Wrod vrecificatoin: chessess. Female player of the noble form of chequers?.

1:57 pm  
Anonymous Clairious Miss said...

Full bathtub? Weird! One sorry man.

3:00 pm  
Anonymous Rae said...

I realise I am a bad person as I couldn't help a little LOL sneaking out reading that

But really, it is just bonkers - the way it's written caused most of the sniggering I think!

9:18 pm  
Anonymous Sharon J said...

Just World Belief. That's why we believe it's ok for some people to die unusual deaths before their time because it enhances our belief that in a just world, it only those who deserve it that it happens to.

6:04 pm  

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