Things That Make Me Want To Yell

No 2 in a series of indeterminate length



Teenage mothers with twins in double pushchairs who stand outside the entrance to ASDA, smoking and scream conversations down their mobiles at Andy

Obviously I have a headache or something, I am not in a particularly charitable mood and no, it has nothing to do with the football result. It's only a game. If only Piqué had been more charitable to his old club and allowed Park a bit more of a stab at the rebound then it may have been a different matter of course, but no it's nothing to do with the football.

No, I have never, since the advent of the mobile telephone, ever heard anyone conduct such a loud and one-sided conversation. She made Dom Joly sound like Bob Harris. Poor Andy. He hadn't done anything, this was just a yobette who loved the sound of her own voice and who wanted everyone to know her business. I didn't hang around to catch the gist, she was, as is these idiots' wont, standing at a pinch point on the pavement so I squeezed past, muttering remonstrations at a level that would have, save for the audio barrage, been quite audible.

I pity anyone called Andy living with strident mothers of twins.