Disorder, disorder!

Quite the most amusing story to have emerged from the whole expenses farce was the one yesterday concerning Gerald Kaufman. Anne Widdecombe thought Michael Howard had "something of the night" about him; comparitively Kaufman is a full blown gothic novel complete with piercings and fake blood but apart from being slightly scared of him, I've got no particular axe to grind with him. He's a good and well-respected MP, has a fairly sound sense of humour and doesn't generally suffer people taking the piss with idiotic explanations. For instance, in committee, he was particularly withering towards the CE of the Royal Opera House regarding the perceived wastage during its refurbishment using Lottery money a decade or so ago, so much so that she resigned. He's been around a very long time and hasn't been a particular drain on the public purse, being one of the more frugal of MPs. He's on our side in other words.

Which is why I'm particularly suprised that he's explained the reasons for him having to buy a pair of Waterford crystal grapefruit bowls at £220 down to his self-diagnosed obsessive compulsive disorder. I done a LOL. Gerry, not interested. You have the same breakfast every day. I'm stunned. I do, too. Porridge. It's good for you. Slow release carbs, low GI (I think. Whatever GI is) and good for the heart. Except on Sundays when I blow it all by feeling compelled to have a gut-buster full English on my special big plate. My treat (not for the pigs, obviously). What's of rather more interest is why you thought it reasonable to claim expenses for something most of us would use our day to day income to purchase. If my special big plate were to get broken I would be expected to replace it out of my dole-scum allowance, I'm not allowed to put a claim in. If it were the only plate I had then I may be able to get a crisis loan but I'd have to pay it back straight away. Moreover, I lived for years with someone who had OCD, if all I'd had to contend with was the requirement for the same brekky every day I'd have been happy whereas it bloody near drove me to breakdown. Was needing a pen at £225 OCD as well?

I've had enough of expenses now. Job done, government broken, which is what the Barclay brothers wanted. All it's really proved is that most of them are greedy and totally devoid of morality, some more than others, and that most of them play a corrupt system to a degree and that they looked after themselves by manipulating the rules of this corrupt system in their favour. "It was within the rules" means nothing when you make the rules; Hitler, Stalin and Pol Pot made their own rules, too. It's particularly vile that that most upstanding and moral of professions, journalists, of all people, are profiting from this story. I wonder how many are putting in inflated claims for sitting outside MP's second homes for hours on end waiting for another crappy sound-bite? Bearing in mind of course that these expenses are ultimately recouped in the price we pay for the consumables advertised in the newspapers and the TV stations the hacks work for, I think we should be told.